By A. M. Stewart
My friend Stephanie is a bombshell. Tall with beautiful red hair, she attracts them all. Men, women, it doesn’t matter. I knew she’d be the perfect decoy for this assignment.
Mission: Find a place with drink specials where girls can go without being harassed by the Creepy Guy who can’t take a hint.
Alright ladies, even if you are single and trying to pick up a man or woman, it can become uncertain and dangerous dealing with dudes at bars. Something was put in Steph’s drink at a corporate restaurant (think of the movie Waiting). Luckily, in my friend’s case, the bartender saw the slip and poured her a new drink. I decided a search must be done.
When we entered the pub downtown our hopes were high. It’s a pub. Hearty beer drinking, sports talk, not wall-to-wall packed with girls in short skirts demanding attention. I thought this was a prime opportunity for a night with my girlfriend and no worries. Wrong.
Steph and I hadn’t even finished our first beer when a drunk guy in a white shirt started peering over my Steph’s shoulder, trying to catch a look down her shirt. The guy orders a water and tells the bartender, “And whatever she’d like.” Steph kindly turned down the offer.
“I have to take one of you home tonight,” the guy softly shot back.
“We’re both taken,” Steph said as she pointed to an engagement ring that she wears as a backup when guys don’t get the hint.
Dude does not get the hint and proceeds to call her a snob, inching his way uncomfortably closer to her seat. We leave.
Lesson 1: If a guy keeps bothering you, just leave the area. Don’t let it ruin your night.
There are a handful of bars in Jax that offer activities to pamper women. This can be fun to do with friends. Get a massage and a buzz for little cash. But plan well, otherwise you could miss the massage and martini you looked forward to, as I did. After some confusion over event times, I completely missed the beauty-pampering part.
Because Steph and I traveled a great distance to the martini bar at the beach, we decided to stay for some of their legendary drinks. A heavenly concoction of coconut rum and pineapple juice filled my mouth, the effects of vodka not present until the end of the glass.
We quickly forgot the place was nearly empty and were having great conversation with Jeff, the bartender. He reminisced about some of the most memorable moments he’s spent serving drinks. Stories of quiet, reserved women turning into crazed cats crawling over the bar.
Lesson 2: Sometimes the best night out is spent keeping the bartender company on a slow night.
Our journey continued to a bar in Riverside. After hearing some friends were at a local spot, we decided the night couldn’t end at the martini bar. I had been to this bar previously with just a couple of friends and gotten pestered relentlessly by dudes. Not to mention a ‘complimentary beer’ from one guy, which I did not drink. But the night took on a completely different meaning with a larger group of friends, some being guys. Turns out, if you’re with a big group you tend to get bothered less.
Lesson 3: Safety in numbers, only with those you trust.
Bars tend to be busier at the end of the week. Steph, my friend Liz and I were ready to brave the crowds for some great reggae music at a bar that includes multiple forms of entertainment for the buzzed. A ping-pong table, Pac-Man, bowling arcade games, beer bongs from the bartenders, and fire blowing can captivate just about anyone.
When the reggae started, bodies began moving. I made my way to the front of the band, dancing with a bunch of other chicks. The great thing about trendy bars is that they usually attract a lot of girls, often with revealing clothes. If you’re not looking to pick up guys, bum it to one of these bars and you’re guaranteed to fly under the radar.
Numerous liquor and energy drink cocktails later we were having a blast. Seeing a bartender shoot fire out of his mouth definitely added to the excitement of the night. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and the spontaneous conversations with complete strangers were in effortless abundance.
Lesson 4: Go somewhere you know lots of girls dress for attention. It’s not right, but girls who dress more risqué attract more attention. Lets face it, guys are visual creatures.
After contemplating with my girl friends, we eventually made the decision to go to another place, even though we were having such a great time. We stopped by Liz’s place first and had a couple more drinks, talked and lost track of time. We never went to that bar because chillin’ at her house had advantages: cheaper drinks and the ability to choose our own music. We had just as much fun there.
Lesson 5: Great nights don’t have to be at bars. Kick the boys out and enjoy a friend’s place.
Article Published in the 2-14-08 Issue of EU Jacksonville
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