by Troy Spurlin
For those of you that missed the last article, we purchased a rug from Lowe’s called “Wooly Bully” and it was an investment that will definitely provide many sweet returns. And he’s calling, Wooly Bully that is. But be patient brother, you can’t fly solo with Wooly Bully – no one wants that visual. Besides, it’s just against the rules. Instead, let’s talk about that kick-ass flat screen of yours.
Is it sitting on one of those fugly glass and chrome things? A particle board or pressed wood “entertainment center?” How about a card table, milk crate or blocks? Well, if you answered yes to any of these, then today is your lucky day, because we are buying a new piece for the pad. Let’s all say it together: Cre–den-za.
A credenza is a staple piece of executive office furniture that is placed behind an executive’s desk (you know the piece I’m talking about - they usually place a glamour shot of the wife, some pics of the kids engaged in wholesome activity, and the cheap lucite award from last year’s sales meeting). It is four to six feet in length, approximately thirty-six inches high and twenty-four inches in depth. J.R. had one on Dallas and we all know that J.R. got some tail, possibly on the credenza…but I digress.
We aren’t looking for just any credenza; we want a 60s or 70s credenza with four doors across the front, preferably walnut (teak is cool – cherry is not) with matte stainless or chrome accents. Buyer beware! There are a lot of credenzas out there that are “Metal-Case.” That is NOT what we are looking for!
So we found it, we bought it, and now we are going to place it. Put it under the TV if it is mounted on the wall and if it’s not, put the TV on top of the credenza. We don’t want to center the credenza under the TV or put the TV in the center of the credenza, we want to pick a side. Either go all the way to the far left or all the way to the far right. As they say in the biz, we don’t want it to look symmetrical (for those of you who didn’t “get” geometry or made a “D” - that means we don’t want it to look “matchy-matchy”). Besides, we have other stuff we want to put on top. While we are talking about where we are going to put it – let’s talk about the storage capacity inside.
Picture this: All of your electronics, X-Box games, bong, and whatever else you like to hide but have readily available (stop and think about that), all completely out of sight. The credenza is the ultimate piece of furniture, gentlemen– can you see it? If not, take another hit, ‘cause the view is money (did I just say that?).
Now here is where you go to get one. I’ve seen three of them around town that I would buy. Go check out Encore Decor (10830 San Jose Boulevard) at the San Jose exit at 295, and see Kelly or Missi Langford. I went to high school with both of them and they are good people. Down the street at the Consignment Barn (5121 San Jose Boulevard), they have a credenza that is especially dope. It is made by Bernhardt (a high-end furniture maker) and even has the great matte stainless trim. You should expect to pay anywhere from 175 to 300 bucks for a decent one. Don’t worry if they’ve sold out– just tell the great people that run these stores what you’re looking for, or for that matter, cut this out and take it to ‘em. No worries if you don’t have a way to get it home, since both places can offer you a choice of delivery service. I used Joe’s Speedy Delivery (904-868-6507) and paid about fifty dollars when I bought mine.
Now, with the Credenza in place, call her up for movie night. Picture it: You and her lying on Wooly Bully while the credits for Rear Window begin to roll… Oh, but dude, make it a B.Y.O.P. party (that’s Bring Your Own Pillow). She isn’t going to want to lay her head on the ones you have. That’s alright, she will…we’re just getting started.
“Notes from the Bachelor Pad” is a continuing article courtesy of troyspurlin Interiors (troyspurlin.com). Spurlin has worked for interior decorator Joe Nye in Los Angeles, and while employed at MOCA Jacksonville, sidelined doing exterior and interior work throughout Jacksonville.
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